tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87039328082948698842024-03-12T21:43:31.328-07:00I may be Fatigued but I'll always be Fabulous...Fibromyalgia, fatigue & other fun stuff :)Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-72003889719652420682012-05-24T13:22:00.002-07:002012-05-24T13:23:24.853-07:00Feeling blue...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Was getting a bit bored the other day...what could I do to bring some excitement into my otherwise mundane & humdrum life? Like all brilliant solutions, the one that struck me, too, seemed glaringly obvious in retrospect. Color my hair turquoise? Why, what an absolutely marvelous idea!!<br />
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So, without further delay, presenting.....ME!<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XYKv6m4IeLc/T76XnNIy6-I/AAAAAAAAAvw/j7B7f7T2aSw/s1600/sahiba+(1)+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XYKv6m4IeLc/T76XnNIy6-I/AAAAAAAAAvw/j7B7f7T2aSw/s320/sahiba+(1)+copy.jpg" width="238" /></a> </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-km7znM1epC8/T76YbStlvCI/AAAAAAAAAwA/IqeIhkg2-Jo/s1600/sahiba-blue-hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-km7znM1epC8/T76YbStlvCI/AAAAAAAAAwA/IqeIhkg2-Jo/s320/sahiba-blue-hair.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-76211454117985529232012-05-01T11:07:00.000-07:002012-05-01T11:07:39.857-07:00Cultivating happiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_trick_your_brain_for_happiness<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GmHNcwfXxUE/T6Aljozg83I/AAAAAAAAAvk/IWrsF8cPyOM/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-05-01+at+11.07.08+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GmHNcwfXxUE/T6Aljozg83I/AAAAAAAAAvk/IWrsF8cPyOM/s200/Screen+Shot+2012-05-01+at+11.07.08+AM.png" width="148" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Great article...Most psychiatric therapy today is based around Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is pretty much training the mind to replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts, thereby cultivating a happy state of mind. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A lot</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> of Buddhist philosophy also deals with this - '<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Buddhas-Brain-Practical-Neuroscience-Happiness/dp/1572246952">Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom</a>' by Rick Hanson is a great resource, as is '<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/1573221112/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_0?ie=UTF8&index=0">The art of Happiness</a>' by the Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler (a leading psychiatrist).</span><br />
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I am currently off all anti-depressants and am getting better only with CBT therapy with <a href="http://matthewmaymd.com/">Dr. Matt May</a>. I will be writing more about this later.<br />
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If you or anyone you know suffer from depression, please do take a look at this article.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-28397873505513410412012-04-09T12:48:00.003-07:002012-04-09T21:53:51.028-07:00My name is Sahiba, and I suffer from depression<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">My name is Sahiba, and I suffer from severe suicidal <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder">depression</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder">anxiety</a>.<br />
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<div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">It’s taken me 15 years to say those words out loud, in front of everyone. </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">I know that depression is an illness, no more my fault than if I have the flu. And yet, during an intense episode, the agonizing guilt and shame associated with the disease is crippling. </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Maybe it is this shame that makes it so difficult to reach out for help. Or accept help even when freely offered by those who love me. </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Now that I’ve finally started talking about it, I find that the floodgates are opening. I have so much to say about depression - how it played with my fibromyalgia & pain, how it eroded my confidence & self-esteem, and how it is finally leading to self-acceptance and self-discovery. I think I’m going to need a few posts to deal with it all.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p2"><a href="http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091215155927/depression/images/e/ea/Depressed-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091215155927/depression/images/e/ea/Depressed-woman.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">The worst thing about depression is how it fools you into believing that <i>you are the illness</i>. It’s like someone has taken over your mind, your body, your very thoughts, and you have no control left over any of these. You are a prisoner within yourself.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Over the years, despite the CFS & fibromyalgia, I have prided myself on staying positive and fighting for the best possible life I could have. But when the depression attacks, it strikes at my very motivation for wanting to recover. “Why do I deserve to draw another breath?” How do you answer that question?</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">While I have had suicidal episodes over the years, the one that I’m now getting over was possibly one of the worst. Anyone who knows clinical depression will understand that it can take many forms. For me, it’s always been predominantly guilt. But for the first time in my life, anger took over. Suddenly all the internal self-blame became externalized and I couldn’t understand why I abruptly stopped connecting with people. </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">I had always been such a patient, caring person. Hadn’t I? Or had I always been this selfish, anxious, bitter person I now felt like? Some days the anxiety was so much that I would spend hours lying trembling and crying on the floor with a knife in my hand, trying desperately to find a reason not to cut my wrist.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">The only thing that got me through this time was my husband. In retrospect, this was not fair to him. If I had had the courage to share my illness with more people, the burden on him would have been reduced. I think we both hit rock bottom those days, but we made it through somehow...knock on wood :)</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><a href="http://gabriellerivera.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/calvinhobbes_friends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="151" src="http://gabriellerivera.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/calvinhobbes_friends.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="s1">I also wanted to say that though my friends may not have been aware of what was happening with me, it soon became very clear to me who my real friends were. There were some who didn’t have any trouble forgetting about the years of interaction they had had with me. But there were others who may not have understood what was happening with me, but were willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and their support. And that was all I really needed. Thank you.</span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-11984264688833996722011-06-26T16:07:00.000-07:002011-06-26T16:13:00.660-07:00M.O.B - 27th June<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<h1 style="color: #003399; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.<br />
Watch your words, for they become actions.<br />
Watch your actions, for they become habits.<br />
Watch your habits, for they become character.<br />
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.</span></span></span></h1><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">~ Upanishads</span></span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kn0zGRXlkFI/TAvn0wDta3I/AAAAAAAAAE8/vFEuWhksH-Y/s1600/destiny_life_cover_cropped_op_800x462.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kn0zGRXlkFI/TAvn0wDta3I/AAAAAAAAAE8/vFEuWhksH-Y/s400/destiny_life_cover_cropped_op_800x462.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-69930022203793509212011-06-23T13:43:00.000-07:002011-06-26T16:02:57.162-07:00The death of 'I'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I have been trying so hard - and for so long - to stay strong. But I can't do it any more.<br />
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3 days ago I finally gave up my fight against allopathic medication and started <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/methylprednisolone/article.htm">Medrol</a>, a<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylprednisolone"> Group A corticosteroid</a> for the inflammation of the muscles and nerves. I no longer know why I put myself through the agony of the Lyrica & Cymbalta withdrawal symptoms, if I simply had to start on such strong medication again.<br />
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I feel defeated.<br />
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In fact, it's like there is no longer an 'I' left to either be strong or feel defeated. There is just pain and fatigue.<br />
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And I'll do just about anything to stop it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.symptoms101.com/Fibromyalgia_Cycle.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="327" src="http://www.symptoms101.com/Fibromyalgia_Cycle.gif" width="400" /></a></div><br />
At the very least I tried to stick to the hope that with the steroids, the pain would finally get a little bit better; that after 9 long years, my body would get a break from the agonizing misery....but it hasn't. And that may be the most disappointing thing of all.<br />
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The constant dizziness - I don't know whether it's the CFS/FM or the medication that's responsible - has been getting worse to the point where even lying in bed I feel the need to constantly hold onto something so I don't fall.<br />
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I've never wanted to be that person who's always miserable and complaining. I always told myself that even if I can't help being miserable, I can at least not complain.<br />
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But since that 'I' no longer exists, I guess I can finally be weak and break down and cry...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/Symptoms_of_fibromyalgia.png/636px-Symptoms_of_fibromyalgia.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="375" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/Symptoms_of_fibromyalgia.png/636px-Symptoms_of_fibromyalgia.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-892954359585842572011-06-01T22:16:00.000-07:002011-06-02T03:51:47.745-07:00Happy to be me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I'm finally off Cymbalta & Wellbutrin!<br />
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Can't believe I actually did it. The past couple of months have been amongst the worst ever. There were days - weeks even - when I felt like instead of bones and muscles and skin, all I was was a mass of unbelievable pain and a deep, never-ending, all-pervading fatigue. I didn't think I could go through the withdrawal.<br />
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But I did!<br />
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And I'm so proud of myself! :)<br />
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Now just 120mg Lyrica to go....<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.tovx.com/graphics2/PROUD/proud2beme.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.tovx.com/graphics2/PROUD/proud2beme.gif" /></a></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-47377276779295008562011-04-17T14:47:00.000-07:002011-06-26T16:24:05.361-07:00My new Haircut<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pB5sN6QXZhk/Tge_N40xORI/AAAAAAAAAuQ/z-K3mjVQ_XE/s288/Sahiba5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pB5sN6QXZhk/Tge_N40xORI/AAAAAAAAAuQ/z-K3mjVQ_XE/s400/Sahiba5.jpeg" width="323" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-62844536105347929702011-03-29T12:19:00.000-07:002011-03-29T12:20:02.227-07:00Newsletter by Jenni (Chronic Babes)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: 12px;"></span><br />
<h2 style="color: #852d58; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 12px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Dear fellow ChronicBabes,<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">(<a href="http://nl.stoptimestudio.com/t/y/e/zqjjd/itwhhjjh/y/">view in your web browser</a>)</span></span></h2><img align="right" alt="Jenni" border="0" src="http://i5.createsend1.com/ti/y/B7/85E/912/090824/img_4549-200.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" width="200" /><br />
<div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I want to share with you a short, simple message: Be brave in the face of chronic illness. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by fear or sadness. It’s easy to get confused, or to feel swamped with questions about the unknown—or to be angry about having to live with something you didn’t plan for, or don’t want to face. These feelings can weigh you down, and can fester and turn into fear.</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fear can hold you back. Fear can stop you in your tracks. Fear can keep you from being the truly awesome Babe you are meant to be.</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know this because I’ve let fear stop me before. I can tell you this because I’ve been there myself—I’ve experienced times in my life when fear overwhelmed me and stopped me cold.</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But every day, I recommit myself to stand up against my fears and to live an incredible life in spite of chronic illness. And today is really one of those days—a day when I am truly standing tall and meeting my fear face-to-face, looking it square in the eye, saying hello to it, and then walking right on by. Fear is not going to stop me from being an awesome ChronicBabe, no matter how sick I am. I am going to rock this life!</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe this fear-fighting idea is old news to you; in that case, let this simply be a gentle reminder from a good friend. On the other hand, maybe this is a fresh idea for you; in that case, I hope you’ll consider printing this email and carrying it in your pocket for a few days, re-reading it each time you feel fear tug at your sleeve. (This is a favorite trick of mine.)</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Feel fear? Face it down. Don’t let it stop you. I believe in you! And if you want to talk about your favorite fear-busting techniques, <a href="http://nl.stoptimestudio.com/t/y/l/zqjjd/itwhhjjh/d/">come on over to the Forum and we can have a chat about it</a>. I’ve already started a list there of some of my favorite fear-fighting techniques and I think our Forum members will be posting lots more.</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks for sharing this moment with me, friends. Be AWAP… (As. Well. As. Possible.)</span></div><div style="color: #666666; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">XO,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img alt="Jenni" border="0" height="85" src="http://i4.createsend1.com/ti/y/B7/85E/912/090824/jenni-sig.gif" width="100" /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Editrix Jenni</span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-10551968969406467712011-03-19T13:15:00.000-07:002011-04-17T14:53:25.221-07:00The long and the short of it...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since I've been a child, I've been fascinated by long hair....started growing my hair when I was 7 yrs old and never looked back. My hair was as much a part of me as an arm or a leg. that's why it was such a shock to everyone (including me) when I decided to cut it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A part of me was quite scared about letting go of my 'identity', my 'uniqueness'. What if I didn't look nice any more, what if people didn't recognize me, what if I rly regretted it?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, I made the leap around 6 months back and have never been happier. It's made my life so much easier - takes no time to wash or comb, am no longer constantly running out of conditioner, the chronic pain in my neck (due to the weight of the hair) has disappeared, and I love the way I look.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As one friend put it - "earlier, we only saw the hair, now we rly see <i>you</i>"....</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-B4Wiv39uq4I/TYUK_m6J9SI/AAAAAAAAAl8/FVMkg89MXKc/s1600/IMG_2839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-B4Wiv39uq4I/TYUK_m6J9SI/AAAAAAAAAl8/FVMkg89MXKc/s320/IMG_2839.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rapunzel, Rapunzel</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-BH0kL49oouI/TYW7zTQOHJI/AAAAAAAAAmc/d1FWmjBLC2Q/s1600/36702_10150200028870427_500720426_13301249_2178539_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-BH0kL49oouI/TYW7zTQOHJI/AAAAAAAAAmc/d1FWmjBLC2Q/s320/36702_10150200028870427_500720426_13301249_2178539_n.jpg" width="241" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The 1st cut</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-HYP2WRHDaGw/TYULCUTacDI/AAAAAAAAAmE/PzJB-zJKNzQ/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-HYP2WRHDaGw/TYULCUTacDI/AAAAAAAAAmE/PzJB-zJKNzQ/s320/photo+3.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting ready for the 2nd cut</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tqRUceDFoGQ/TYULBOAb7WI/AAAAAAAAAmA/_Cjprb1PAvo/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tqRUceDFoGQ/TYULBOAb7WI/AAAAAAAAAmA/_Cjprb1PAvo/s320/photo+2.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-nGWuqBtxDC0/TYW9kFWKu-I/AAAAAAAAAmk/lcBTtSgfIXI/s1600/photo+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-nGWuqBtxDC0/TYW9kFWKu-I/AAAAAAAAAmk/lcBTtSgfIXI/s320/photo+6.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Short angled bob</td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Od2QXtCSTrY/TYULDMiv-5I/AAAAAAAAAmM/6wFmd0K0XSM/s1600/photo+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Od2QXtCSTrY/TYULDMiv-5I/AAAAAAAAAmM/6wFmd0K0XSM/s320/photo+7.jpg" width="240" /></a></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The 3nd cut</div></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-V-y4-bSCg-M/TYULE2mPvRI/AAAAAAAAAmU/56wtIU1Aql0/s1600/photo+21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-V-y4-bSCg-M/TYULE2mPvRI/AAAAAAAAAmU/56wtIU1Aql0/s320/photo+21.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The final cut</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Af4S8uxkFUI/TYULFwyNwtI/AAAAAAAAAmY/2X9zAAkEqE8/s1600/photo+31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Af4S8uxkFUI/TYULFwyNwtI/AAAAAAAAAmY/2X9zAAkEqE8/s320/photo+31.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1sa26GXNaac/TathQvqF0LI/AAAAAAAAAnY/8lrj10KYEO4/s1600/IMG_3851.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1sa26GXNaac/TathQvqF0LI/AAAAAAAAAnY/8lrj10KYEO4/s320/IMG_3851.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Have a hair cut apptment on the 25th...let's see what I go in for this time....</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-27994423056780482952011-03-18T15:45:00.000-07:002011-03-18T15:45:06.547-07:00Of start-ups and hackers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So here's the deal - if you live in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silicon_Valley">Silicon valley</a>, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startup_company">start-up</a> bug WILL catch you. It doesn't matter how much you hide, run, scream or fight it. It doesn't matter how risk-averse or certainty-oriented you think you are. It will find a way to sneak past your defenses, weasel it's way past your doubts and sink it's teeth into you good n proper! And that's what happened to me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<a href="http://www.rainbowanchorstone.de/assets/images/siliconvalley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.rainbowanchorstone.de/assets/images/siliconvalley.jpg" width="185" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hubby K has always been an entrepreneur at heart. Since I've known him, all he's wanted is to start his own company. All these years he's had to keep this ambition on a back-burner as he was too busy taking care of me. But, we've decided that the time has finally come. He's quitting his job, we've moved to San Francisco proper and we're starting our own start-up. This is it, folks!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In an effort to educate myself about the strange but exciting world of start-ups I decided to start reading up about it. Did you know that not only do techie-geeks live in their own peculiar universe of networks and virtual reality, but they have their own language too - hackers, angels, runways, cookies....and none of them mean what they would in simple English.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ivarfjeld.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/istockphoto_349458_computer_hacker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://ivarfjeld.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/istockphoto_349458_computer_hacker.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To quote security guru <a href="http://www.schneier.com/about.html">Bruce Schneier</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">, </span> "A hacker is someone who thinks outside the box. It's someone who discards conventional wisdom, and does something else instead. It's someone who looks at the edge and wonders what's beyond...A hacker is someone who experiments with the limitations of systems for intellectual curiosity."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In short, being a hacker is a good thing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oooookkkkaaaayyyyyy. </span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youngentrepreneur.com/wp-content/uploads/angelinvestor1-e1268092990534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.youngentrepreneur.com/wp-content/uploads/angelinvestor1-e1268092990534.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/index.html">Paul Graham</a> of <a href="http://ycombinator.com/">YCombinato</a>r, one of the biggest <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_investor">angel investors</a> of start-ups, explains how they choose who to fund. They fund hackers. Here are <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/founders.html">their criteria</a>: determination, flexibility, imagination, naughtiness and friendship.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And here's why I think hubby is born to be a hacker: these are exactly the qualities needed to successfully deal with living as a full-time care-taker of a patient for 8 long years. Never giving up - no matter what the odds, changing/improvising plans routinely, dreaming up new ways to make things possible... </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Currently we're in the process of applying for funding for our new start-up. I have a hundred examples of why K would be the perfect entrepreneur / hacker to back....just hope the investors see it as clearly as I do.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.maximumpc.com/files/u46168/venturecapitalcartoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="http://www.maximumpc.com/files/u46168/venturecapitalcartoon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Image Credit: Labnol</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-70778795525959498432011-03-18T15:14:00.000-07:002011-03-18T15:49:59.830-07:00M.O.B. - 18th March<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Just realized that we haven't had our 'Moment of Beauty' post in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages, so here's a quote that made me feel positive....<br />
<br />
"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change"<br />
- Dr. Wayne Dyer<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-69316176287444573132011-03-17T03:31:00.000-07:002011-05-03T04:30:55.850-07:00Opulent Temple white party<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="http://mvgals.net/albums/opel_flyers/front_2_0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://mvgals.net/albums/opel_flyers/front_2_0.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="160" /></a>This weekend was a bit of a bummer.<br />
<br />
We were supposed to go for this <a href="http://www.opulenttemple.org/">Sacred Dance 'white party'</a> - don't worry if you don't have the foggiest what that means, I don't either - but it sounded particularly conducive to a night of divine dancing and drunken debauchery. But, alas, this was not meant to be...<br />
<br />
I was having a pretty bad day, but since when have I decided to listen to my body's signals? Managed to get ready, sit in the car, almost reach the venue, then realized that I had forgotten my ID at home. Turned back, reached the house, picked up the ID...and just didn't feel well enough to go out again!<br />
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uc_mb_u4XYY/TYHhlbT95yI/AAAAAAAAAl0/2yPpIfyLnxM/s1600/IMG_3901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uc_mb_u4XYY/TYHhlbT95yI/AAAAAAAAAl0/2yPpIfyLnxM/s200/IMG_3901.jpg" width="140" /></a><br />
<u>Dark cloud</u>: was quite disappointed, esp since we had bought tkts in advance and had been looking fwd to an evening out.<br />
<br />
<u>Silver lining</u>: got to get all dressed up in white, with glittering silvery make-up, take pics and feel pretty. And don't ever underestimate the value of feeling pretty!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AeFDwTHe6wk/Tatk3Lr4I1I/AAAAAAAAAng/i0Prwe2YeQg/s1600/IMG_3903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AeFDwTHe6wk/Tatk3Lr4I1I/AAAAAAAAAng/i0Prwe2YeQg/s320/IMG_3903.jpg" width="205" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-52176023654855676262011-03-02T17:40:00.000-08:002011-05-03T04:32:44.561-07:00Ups n downs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="background-color: white; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Life is full of ups and downs, they say.</span><br />
<div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://princetonrealestatehomes.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/477/files/2008/12/up-down-arrows-ambitions_charts_185942.jpg" rel="nofollow" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://princetonrealestatehomes.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/477/files/2008/12/up-down-arrows-ambitions_charts_185942.jpg" width="166" /></span></a></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">2010 was mostly a down for me - extreme exhaustion, excruciating pain, mind fog, hospitalization, you name it. But that doesn't mean there were no ups. I think I had to reach absolute rock bottom to get out of the 'comfortable' place I had settled into. I had gotten so used to feeling tired and in pain all the time, that it had become 'normal'. But maybe getting worse was the push I needed.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: times, serif;">I had been trying to reduce my meds for a while. By end 2009 I had managed to cut out many of the most hated meds - chief amongst them Cymbalta. Cymbalta is approved for dual use against depression and fibromyalgia. But what no one really </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: times, serif;">emphasizes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: times, serif;"> are the <a href="http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-91491-cymbalta+oral.aspx?drugid=91491&drugname=cymbalta+oral&pagenumber=6">side effects</a>. The frequency and severity of side effects listed by the company come nowhere near the real thing. The 'brain fog' caused by Cymbalta got so bad that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: times, serif;">on some days 2+2 was a confusing equation for me!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/funny_cartoon_zombie_photosculpture-p153630486108318002qdjh_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/funny_cartoon_zombie_photosculpture-p153630486108318002qdjh_400.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Towards end March 2010, my pain had shot up to an unmanageable degree. I was taking 6 to 8 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicodin">Vicodin</a>s daily along with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_cannabis">medical marijuana</a> in edible form (extremely potent) as well as some other pain killers. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">And still the pain wouldn't go. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">I pretty much lived like a zombie for those months - either drugged out of my mind or in unbearable pain. We hadn't gone out in months and K was mostly focusing on managing my pain, besides his job and the home. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Finally came a day when I felt I just couldn't go on like this any more. I no longer felt safe with myself. At this point, K and I went to the emergency room and decided to check me in. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://styletips101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/xmas-shopping-girl.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://styletips101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/xmas-shopping-girl.gif" width="185" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">The doctors at Stanford Hospital, nice as they were, were pretty clueless. They started me on Lyrica as it's the only other drug approved for Fibromyalgia. It wasn't particularly effective, so they kept upping the dosage till we reached 400mg/day (100mg more than FDA approved 'safe' dosage). Eventually, they added 60 mg of cymbalta and sent me home with more drugs and little relief.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">One of the particularly nasty side effects of Lyrica was that entire episode of events would vanish from my memory. On one of my better days, we went to the mall for some much needed retail therapy and I bought a couple of nice skirts. The next day I had absolutely no recollection of the trip or of my purchases. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Days passed in a daze. And yet, there was no relief from pain or any signs of recovery. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">The doctors had no answers as to when/how to get off these drugs, but would usually give a referral to a different clinic. We did make few trips to the Stanford pain clinic but soon realized it was just more of the same. They referred us to 3 other clinics and usually the referrals never went through or required multiple calls, and we had to wait for weeks while the hospital figured out the insurance details.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Initially I was mad at the doctors for not doing something different, for not giving me a long term solution, for not trying harder to help me. The side effects of the drugs (confusion, brain fog, memory loss, dizziness etc) were probably worse than the illness itself. My mother had to fly down from India to help care for me since there was no way hubby K could manage everything by himself - either physically or emotionally.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://iphonetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/being-different-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://iphonetoolbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/being-different-f.jpg" width="133" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Around mid-2010 I finally decided to try something different. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">The roller coaster of pain had been tough emotionally, so I went to the best therapist/psychiatrist I could find - <a href="http://matthewmaymd.com/index.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Dr. Matt May</a>. He wasn't covered by our insurance and I was worried about the cost, but I don't think we could have made a better investment. Years of brain fog had pretty much warped my self image. Dr. May helped me appreciate myself again. And with his help, down we went on the meds again.</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: times, serif; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.angel-guide.com/images/angels-picture-angel-coloring-pages-angel-praying-lilastar-angel-guide.com.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.angel-guide.com/images/angels-picture-angel-coloring-pages-angel-praying-lilastar-angel-guide.com.jpg" width="175" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">At the same time, K had read an article about how a chiropractor had cured someone of severe chronic pain. We decided to give chiropractic a try. <a href="http://hayesvalleywellness.com/about/" rel="nofollow" style="font-family: Times;" target="_blank">Dr. Matt Coleman</a> was like an angel from the heavens above :) Within a month my pain was down from the acute sharp shooting pain to a much lower-grade dull ache. I was able to cut vicodin to a large degree but not completely. More importantly, he taught me the importance of nutrition. We all try to eat right - at least we like to think we do - but it's shocking how little we actually know about what goes into our mouths. Best advice I can give you - read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Nourishing-Traditions-Challenges-Politically-Dictocrats/dp/0967089735/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299109701&sr=8-1-fkmr0" rel="nofollow" style="font-family: Times;" target="_blank">Nourishing Traditions</a> by Sally Fallon. I can honestly say this book changed my life. I gave up sugar, tea, coffee, started checking the ingredients of everything that went into my tummy, eating only organic etc etc. He helped my figure out that I was severely allergic to corn and tomatoes.</span></div><div style="font-family: times, serif; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: times, serif; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Within a few months I started feeling stronger from inside. It was like my organs were recovering from all the stress they had been under with the strong medication and wrong foods. I lost weight (over 40 lbs) looked better and felt better than ever. K also lost about the same amount of weight just eating right with me. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://asianwindow.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/ayurvedic_massage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://asianwindow.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/ayurvedic_massage.jpg" width="150" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">I'm not trying to suggest that I was miraculously cured, but it was definitely a start. By September I was feeling strong enough to travel and decided to go to India to try acupuncture again. Unfortunately acupuncture wasn't able to help - despite daily sessions for about 3 months. But then I tried something new - the <a href="http://www.aryavaidyasala.com/(S(lgldx2555aebgtqzdfjagwug))/index.aspx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Kottakal Arya Vaidya Sala</a> - an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurveda" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ayurvedic</a> hospital in India. It was two weeks of in-patient treatment and daily massages with medicated oils. I came back feeling and looking like a different person. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_BQtYCYJpONQ/RfiNKLdbqZI/AAAAAAAAAe8/KAaBp1k_TwE/s400/Crossed+Fingers.1..JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_BQtYCYJpONQ/RfiNKLdbqZI/AAAAAAAAAe8/KAaBp1k_TwE/s200/Crossed+Fingers.1..JPG" width="97" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">I'm now back in San Francisco along with my ayurvedic meds from the Vaidya Sala, and am on the roller coaster of getting off my allopathic meds again. I'm doing pretty well - Cymbalta is down from 60mg to 10mg, Lyrica from 400mg to 150mg and Wellbutrin from 300mg to 75mg. But the withdrawal is pretty tough. I'm hoping to be totally allopathic medicine free by August 2011. </span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">Keep your fingers crossed for me! </span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: times, serif; font-size: 12pt;"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-15741153182017480082010-03-10T17:26:00.000-08:002010-03-11T00:22:12.285-08:00A weird and wonderful dayToday is the strangest day ever!<br />
<a href="http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/eduwonkette/birthday-cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/eduwonkette/birthday-cake.jpg" width="191" /></a><br />
It's hubby's (K) b'day today.<br />
<br />
No, that's not what's strange....be patient folks...<br />
<br />
Anyway, as I said, it is K's b'day. So, of course, I was planning the usual cake, champagne etc. But yesterday K asked me a strange question. "Do you want to give me a birthday present that would rly mean the most to me?"<br />
<br />
Of course, I said.<br />
<br />
"Then, just for one day, see yourself with my eyes. Love yourself the way I love you. Treat yourself the way you know I would like you to. If you want to do something, think about whether you're rly doing it for me or for yourself. Pls don't clean the house. Think of how that would drain your energy, so you won't even be able to talk to me in the evening. You don't need to dress up and get tired. I'd rather see you laughing in pajamas. My ideal birthday present would be to see you lively and energetic, even if the house is dirty and there's no cake and you couldn't plan a party. " (or something like that).<br />
<br />
Heavy, eh? Yeah, I mean who would be ok with no cake on their b'day??!!!<br />
<br />
Ok srsly, I decided that if that's what he wanted, then that's what he'd get. After all he was the b'day boy (errr....man?)<br />
<br />
And today has been the wierdest most wonderful day ever! I feel like I'm on vacation. I want to wash my hair so it looks nice for tonight, but I know it'll tire me. Normally I would have managed to convince myself that washing my hair wasn't optional, it was obligatory. And that somehow, I could summon up enough energy to do it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uY5tutkhCLM/S5hGnIGmnGI/AAAAAAAAAbY/q-H59jAf4AA/s1600-h/Wedding+034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uY5tutkhCLM/S5hGnIGmnGI/AAAAAAAAAbY/q-H59jAf4AA/s320/Wedding+034.JPG" /></a></div>But looking at it with K's eyes? Now that was a whole different ball game. He would say - Conserve your energy. Save it for when we're together. I don't care if your hair isn't washed, you're always beautiful to me (ok, so I put in the last part myself, but I know he would have said it!)<br />
<br />
And so the decision has been made!<br />
<br />
No hair washing today!<br />
(for those of you who are wondering what the big deal abt washing hair, see photo!)<br />
<br />
I used this technique on everything today. And it was fantastic. So I began to wonder why it made the difference it did, and I came up with the following:<br />
<br />
1. I usually decide that everyone's wants/desires are the same as mine. I often try to tidy the house before K returns from office. But I realized that I do that because I would like to come back to a clean home. If he had to choose, he would choose an energetic wife over a clean house any day! So I'm rly doing sit for myself - I can't pretend it's for him.<br />
<br />
2. I am not realistic about my energy levels. I can easily convince myself that I can do anything with "just a bit more effort", until I reach the point where I'm bedridden. Looking at it through K's eyes, made me think - If he were here would he like me to use my limited energy on this task? And, I realize that it's ok to stop because I'm tired. It's ok to listen to my body.<br />
<br />
3. Obviously that demands the question - why can I stop when K thinks I should, but not do it for myself? Guilt. Yup, that's it the culprit - guilt! To myself, I'm 'lazy' if I don't do something that needs to be done. To K, I'm genuinely tired - something that I'm not willing to accept.<br />
<br />
It's odd that I've had CFS/fibro for almost 8 years, but I still haven't learned energy management. (Hriday, I know that this is just asking for it, so go ahead...). But better late than never I always say!<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for whether I am able to incorporate these changes into my daily habits....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-53772361927195757592010-02-08T00:26:00.000-08:002010-02-08T00:26:41.312-08:00Are you listening God? It's me....I'm soooooooo happy, I can hardly stop smiling.<br />
<br />
I had such a wonderful time today. Didn't do much - just went to a friends place, chatted, played Pictionary. In other words, had a 'normal' evening.<br />
<br />
Guess someone up there is reading my blog too :-D<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.grandprofile.com/Myspace_Comments/Date_Comments/Day_Comments/images/Happy-Day.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.grandprofile.com/Myspace_Comments/Date_Comments/Day_Comments/images/Happy-Day.gif" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-32747439802335370762010-02-07T00:09:00.000-08:002010-02-07T00:12:30.965-08:00Breathe again...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #212222; font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<h3 class="sectionHeader" style="margin-top: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Here's a pretty <span></span>good article by Dr. Bruce Cambell on his life with CFS/fibro...</span></span></span></span></h3><h3 class="sectionHeader" style="font-weight: bold; margin-top: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.prohealth.com/me-cfs/library/showarticle.cfm?libid=15063"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia: Rebuilding Life in the Face of Loss</span></span></span></span></a></h3><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-17237387704664454262010-02-06T23:46:00.000-08:002010-02-07T00:09:55.524-08:00Just another day...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uY5tutkhCLM/S25t31ZQBgI/AAAAAAAAAbM/N_jtyAWC1W8/s1600-h/pain-map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><img border="0" height="146" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uY5tutkhCLM/S25t31ZQBgI/AAAAAAAAAbM/N_jtyAWC1W8/s200/pain-map.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">The past few months have been exceptionally bad in terms of pain. I recently got off a medicine that was controlling pain pretty well, but had other unwanted effects. Since doing anything - even sitting in the car to go out - exacerbates the pains, I've been forced to become a bit more of a homebody that I would ideally have liked to be.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.4thandvine.ca/sun-shining-in-blue-sky-over-tree-in-winter-snow-biei-hokkaido-japan-photographic-print-c13062664.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">This morning, as I was playing Scrabble, hubby walked by chatting with a friend on speaker-phone. She was telling him her plans for the day. She had lunch with a friend, after which she'd drop her dog off at our place so he could have a play date with Lola, sit with us for a bit, then go to a comedy club, followed by a bar/pub/club. The next morning she had to be up early for a Superbowl party at her place. She made it sound so easy. So normal. Then I realized - it is normal. For most people.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><a href="http://www.4thandvine.ca/sun-shining-in-blue-sky-over-tree-in-winter-snow-biei-hokkaido-japan-photographic-print-c13062664.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.4thandvine.ca/sun-shining-in-blue-sky-over-tree-in-winter-snow-biei-hokkaido-japan-photographic-print-c13062664.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.4thandvine.ca/sun-shining-in-blue-sky-over-tree-in-winter-snow-biei-hokkaido-japan-photographic-print-c13062664.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">I'm waiting for the day when it'll be normal for me too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span> <br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-54497458214537606962010-01-18T15:15:00.000-08:002011-03-04T16:06:24.282-08:00For my friends...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I've been cancelling a lot on my friends lately. And I know that while they try to understand, sometimes it can be difficult.<br />
<br />
So here's a list of what friends/family of CFS/FM patients should know:<br />
<br />
1. <b>I will cancel</b>. Despite all my best intentions, there will always be times when I will cancel at the last minute. I'm not trying to be inconsiderate, I usually cancel only after I have tried all alternatives like coffee, rest and energy drinks and they haven't helped.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ldh4iuoLqV2vBM%3Ahttp://open.salon.com/blog/sierrasong/2009/01/04/files/late!1231121575.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ldh4iuoLqV2vBM%3Ahttp://open.salon.com/blog/sierrasong/2009/01/04/files/late!1231121575.gif" /></a>2. <b>I will be lat</b>e. I usually need to start getting ready at least 4 hrs before I go out. I need to rest after taking a shower, again after combing my hair, putting on make-up, or getting dressed. I hate being late, but it's often impossible for me to correctly gauge how much time / rest I'll need.<br />
<br />
3. <b>I will not understand</b>. I get terrible brain fog. Sometimes I just won't understand what you're saying, however simple. I simply have to wait for my brain to clear - I'm not being deliberately obtuse or difficult.<br />
<a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/brain_fog_tshirt-p235715240564600087q0x0_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/brain_fog_tshirt-p235715240564600087q0x0_400.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
4. <b>I will forget</b>. You may tell me something 5 times and I may still forget that you told me. With the brain fog, it can be very difficult to simply understand what's going on around me, much less remember stuff.<br />
<br />
5.<b> I may not be able to help.</b> I love to help my friends in any way I can, but sometimes this is just not possible. Again, not being selfish or thoughtless, just can't do it.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D20050112/77225_KMPB1NQGA1IDZMLZNDRMPLSFXEHJ8V_correspondance_H161555_L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D20050112/77225_KMPB1NQGA1IDZMLZNDRMPLSFXEHJ8V_correspondance_H161555_L.jpg" width="200" /></a>6.<b> You may not hear from me</b>. Sometimes weeks, even months, go by and I don't call/email friends. I do think of you, it's just that talking on the phone or even spending time on the computer can be exhausting. Pls do call / mail me sometimes, even if it feels like you're always taking the initiative. It rly means a lot to me.<br />
<br />
7.<b> I appreciate your support</b>. Even simple things like knowing that you will understand if I cancel go a long way in helping me. Sometimes I may need your help, other times just knowing that I have friends who truly care abt me can make me feel better.<br />
<br />
I know it's not always easy being my friend, but I truly hope that you will still think it's worth it. I hope this helps you understand me a little bit better.<br />
<br />
If there's anything else that CFS/fibro patients or friends / family of patients would like to add, your comments would be welcome.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.roxburyfilmfestival.org/new/images/stories/thank-you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://www.roxburyfilmfestival.org/new/images/stories/thank-you.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-52590865659682827652010-01-17T16:04:00.000-08:002010-01-17T16:05:13.362-08:00A beautiful day<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:_wdoiYZFS05bhM%3Ahttp://www.natejorgensen.com/Portfolio/Laundry.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:_wdoiYZFS05bhM%3Ahttp://www.natejorgensen.com/Portfolio/Laundry.png" /></a>I did a load of laundry today! All the way from putting the clothes in the washing machine to folding them neatly after they were dry.<br />
<br />
It's ridiculous how much joy it gives me to be able to say this.<br />
<br />
The past few months have been a haze of fatigue and pain. I have been doing things - my parents have com to visit, I took a trip to Florida - but there was always the constant underlying pain and discomfort, just beneath the surface, just beyond my reach. I haven't driven a car for over 6 months or been able to do groceries for something like a year.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs145.snc3/17259_294111542728_572157728_4677853_2992751_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs145.snc3/17259_294111542728_572157728_4677853_2992751_n.jpg" width="212" /></a>But today, my mind is clear and body is (almost) pain-free. I feel like a captive animal that has been released back into the forests.<br />
<br />
And I'm going to celebrate!<br />
<br />
I can't believe how many things there are that I can do. I can go to the mall, I can go buy food for Lola, I can see a movie without getting exhausted, I can visit a friend, go for a walk....I can't choose!<br />
<br />
But I think the thing that gives me most joy is that I can be self reliant. If I'm thirsty, I can go to the kitchen myself to get a glass of water. If I'm cold I can get myself a blanket. For the past few months, my husband has been giving me breakfast in bed. After that he makes my lunch and keeps it in the microwave, walks & feeds Lola, and then goes to work. If I am able to stand up by afternoon, I heat my lunch, eat and go back to sleep. If I can't, my husband comes home from work to feed me and take Lola out. He then goes back to work. In the evening I usually wake up just before he comes home. He fixes me a snack, feeds Lola takes her for a walk, makes dinner, finishes office work and finally collapses a night.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:opHv3-viCjqtlM%3Ahttp://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u15/Happiness_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:opHv3-viCjqtlM%3Ahttp://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u15/Happiness_1.jpg" /></a>I know that all this is not my fault, but I still feel terrible. Just the fact that I was able to take on a bit of the load by doing the laundry gave me an incredible amount of happiness.<br />
<br />
I'm off now to make myself a cup of coffee, and after that...I'm going to live life.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-63909761321455107502009-11-17T20:27:00.000-08:002009-11-17T20:29:20.409-08:00A taste of freedom...<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3033/2295678405_c289b83c08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3033/2295678405_c289b83c08.jpg" width="200" /></a>There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who are truly grateful for any glimpse of light in the darkness. And those who forget the wonder of the moment almost before it's over. Unfortunately I definitely fall into the latter category. Once I catch a glimpse of life as it 'ought to be' or 'should have been', the discontent of life 'as it is' rises almost immediately.<br />
<br />
Monday was a fabulous day for me. After months of worsening fatigue and pains, suddenly, I was rewarded with one of those 'miracle days'. I woke up fresh in the morning for a doctor's apptment, had to walk quite a lot in the hospital but didn't get knocked out, did two loads of laundry, watched TV, played word games on the computer, tidied the kitchen cabinets, served myself lunch and set up the living room.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.chronic-illness.org/images/thumbnails/250relapse_clipboard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.chronic-illness.org/images/thumbnails/250relapse_clipboard.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>I know that to most healthy people this may not sound like much work for an entire day, but any of us who have had contact with illnesses like CFS/FM, can recognize what a momentous day it was in my life. And maybe that's why I was so scared to end the day. What if, while I slept, the magic wore off? What if I collapsed again tomorrow?<br />
<br />
It's difficult to not think like this. It's difficult to stop myself from doing all that I can, simply because I can in fact do it (making any sense?). You would think that after so many years of struggling with the issue I would have learnt the importance of resting even when I'm not tired. But whenever I do get a 'normal' day, this is still almost impossible for me.<br />
<br />
The excitement of having a good day wouldn't let me sleep all of Monday night. Finally fell asleep at abt 6:30a.m. the next morning and am, surprise, surprise, now back to spending the whole day in bed.<br />
<br />
Moral of the story - Take each day as it comes and learn to recognize/appreciate the precious moments in life.<br />
<br />
And, as of today, that's precisely what I'm going to do!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-30098921959082122532009-11-17T20:02:00.000-08:002009-11-17T21:10:33.423-08:00My disabling chronic illness is more real than your imaginary medical expertise!Funny gifts for someone with a chronic illness...check it out...made me laugh:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.chronic-illness.org/cfs_t_shirts_gift_ideas.html">http://www.chronic-illness.org/cfs_t_shirts_gift_ideas.html</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images2.cafepress.com/product/58226972v1_350x350_Front_Color-White.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images2.cafepress.com/product/58226972v1_350x350_Front_Color-White.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-51815580415189236152009-11-12T02:44:00.000-08:002009-11-13T14:39:54.336-08:00It's been a long 3 months<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's 1:29 a.m. I am siting in bed with a heating pad, under 3 comforters, sipping Theraflu in much the same manner that a connoisseur may enjoy a fine vintage wine. My husband is snoring (rather loudly - I can easily hear him through my industrial strength earplugs!) on my left. On my right is Lola, looking none too pleased that I've disturbed her beauty sleep by switching on my bedside lamp.<br />
</div><span id="goog_1257844857843"></span><br />
<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2514/4091746653_4b6ea5a6a1_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2514/4091746653_4b6ea5a6a1_m.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
The last few months have been exciting but exhausting. My sister-in -law J. has been staying with us for the past 4 months as she prepared to take the American National Board of Dentistry Exams. For the past 3 weeks, my parents have been visiting us from India. We've also moved house, visited Seattle and Mt. Rainier, and done a family trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon. As I said, exhilerating, but so exhausting. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:GcFzBnJS04HKFM:http://fragilex.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/trapped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:GcFzBnJS04HKFM:http://fragilex.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/trapped.jpg" /></a>During this time I've gone through many ups and many downs. Sometimes, the fatigue got too much for me. And I would feel trapped. Frustrated. Imprisoned in my own body. My soul yearned to soar, but instead I would wave goodbye from the hotel room as everyone else went for a hike or to the casinos. And I would wonder what I had done to deserve this.<br />
<br />
But each time this happens, I now take myself back to my trip to the Mt Rainier National Park. When we went to visit Seattle, Mt Rainier wasn't even on our 'places to visit' list. My husband almost had to drag me there. And now, I thank him for it everyday. Memories of Rainier have become my own personal place of peace.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2577/4101760348_2eb06476ea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2577/4101760348_2eb06476ea.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
</div><br />
I don't think I can ever explain the overwhelming sense of peace and 'rightness' that I felt sitting in those mountains surrounded by trees and brooks, no soul or sign of civilization in sight. Just a magnificent snow covered active volcano forming a glorious backdrop to an endless panorama of hills covered with green trees. In that moment, all my concerns and worries and stresses just disappeared. All that mattered was the nature around me and the contentment within me.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://cache.virtualtourist.com/1544857-Mount_Ranier-Mount_Rainier_National_Park.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://cache.virtualtourist.com/1544857-Mount_Ranier-Mount_Rainier_National_Park.jpg" width="320" /></a>Rainier changed me in a fundamental way. Now, when things threaten to overwhelm me, I just transport myself back to those hills, overlooking a vista of pine trees and lakes, and nothing seems important any more in face of such majestic natural beauty.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2635/4100981733_5649d616d1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2635/4100981733_5649d616d1.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
</div>For the first time in my life, I didn't care about work or studies, diamonds or cashmere. All I needed was a pair of jeans and the people I love around me. And even though I couldn't do the 15 mile hike that I would have loved to do, the rangers helped me find a hike that was 1/10th of a mile and being able to complete this gave me more joy than you can possibly imagine.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2669/4100969019_f54a45d04a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2669/4100969019_f54a45d04a.jpg" width="228" /></a><br />
</div>I think that all of us, especially those of us struggling like a condition with CFS/FM have to find our own personal Rainier. A place which is always inviting, where we can be ourselves and lose all the accumulated despair and frustration. A places that renews and re-energizes us. A place that makes us thankful for all the things - big and small- that we already have in our lives and perhaps do't give enough importance to.<br />
<br />
I hope those of you that follow this blog have already found such a place (I would love to hear abt these), and I strongly urge the rest of you to find your Rainier. It will give you more joy than you can imagine!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-77443190112920271492009-11-12T02:25:00.001-08:002009-11-12T02:29:51.269-08:00Pls vote for SueSue has been a wonderful voice on the web for those of us suffering form invisible illnesses like CFS/ FM. Her posts are insightful, humorous and helpful. Pls do take a moment to vote for her.<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 158px;"><tbody>
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Sue J.</a><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-63180954160803246112009-11-12T01:54:00.000-08:002009-11-12T01:54:50.611-08:00Chronic fatigue syndrome linked to 'cancer virus'<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div class="hldpg" id="pgtop" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 970px;"><h1 style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #827b5e; font-size: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/13/health/webmd/main3260068.shtml">Chronic fatigue syndrome linked to 'cancer virus'</a></h1><ul class="markerlist" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: outside; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li style="-webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.newscientist.com/img/icon/icon_arrow.gif); background-position: 0px 5px; background-repeat: no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">19:00 08 October 2009 by <b style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.newscientist.com/search?rbauthors=+Ewen+Callaway" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Ewen Callaway</a> in cbsnews.com</b></li>
</ul></div><div class="hldpg floatclearfix" id="hldmain" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 40px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 970px;"><div class="floatleft" id="hldcontent" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; float: left; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 795px;"><div class="floatleft" id="maincol" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-color: rgb(167, 167, 167); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; float: left; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 15px; width: 480px;"><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Chronic fatigue syndrome, the debilitating condition once dismissed as "yuppie flu", has been linked to a virus that is also common in people with a certain type of prostate cancer.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">It's still not clear if the virus, called XMRV, causes chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), or is just more common in people with the disorder. But the discovery is sure to reignite the debate over whether CFS is fundamentally a psychological condition or a physiological one.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">"It's a contentious area that lies somewhere between medicine and psychiatry," says <a href="http://www.iop.kcl.ac.uk/staff/profile/default.aspx?go=10206" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="ns">Simon Wessely</a>, a psychiatrist at King's College London who has been vilified by patient groups for his scepticism of cut-and-dried explanations for CFS and <a href="http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126997.000-mind-over-body.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">his assertion that psychological factors may play an important role</a>.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">CFS is characterised by cramps, sleeplessness, weakness and headaches. It affects more than a million Americans and a quarter of a million Britons, yet its cause remains elusive.<br />
</div><h3 class="crosshead" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 117, 154); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #717171; font-size: 1.1em; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Virus clues</h3><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Previously a number of viruses, including herpesviruses, enteroviruses and Epstein-Barr virus – which also causes glandular fever, or mononucleosis – have been suggested as triggers for CFS. But these have only been found in a small minority of people with the disorder.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">A team led by <a href="http://www.wpinstitute.org/research/research_profiles.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="ns">Judy Mikovits</a> at the Whittemore Peterson Institute in Reno, Nevada, decided to investigate whether XMRV (or xenotropic murine leukaemia virus-related virus, to give it its full name) might be linked to CFS after the virus was reported in 2006 to be present in the tumour tissue of patients with a hereditary form of prostate cancer.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">It is still not clear what effect the virus has on people. But the fact that this type of prostate cancer and CFS have both been linked to changes in the same antiviral enzyme led Mikovits to wonder whether XMRV could playing a role in CFS too.<br />
</div><h3 class="crosshead" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 117, 154); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #717171; font-size: 1.1em; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Sensitive test</h3><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">When her team analysed blood taken from 101 CFS patients, 68, or two thirds, tested positive for XMRV genes, compared with just eight out of 218 healthy controls. The next step will be working out whether XMRV causes CFS or just grows particularly well in people who have it.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Mikovits suspects that XMRV causes CFS. She says her team has found antibodies against XMRV in 95 per cent of the nearly 300 patients they have tested, but these results have yet to published in a journal. Antibodies are a more sensitive test than looking for viral genes, as they pick up people who have had XMRV in the past, not just those who still have it.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">What's more, some characteristics of the virus match up with the syndrome's symptoms, she says. Viruses related to XMRV can cause blood vessels around the body to leak, a common symptom of CFS. Mikovits also notes that in mice, a protein that coats the shell of the virus causes the animals' nerves to degenerate. A class of immune cells called natural killer cells, which are thought to go wrong in CFS, are known to be susceptible to infection by the virus.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">"XMRV infection of [natural killer] cells may affect their function," says Jonathan Kerr, a researcher at St George's, University of London, who was not involved in the study. "This does fit." He adds, however, that "an independent study to confirm these findings is very much needed".<br />
</div><h3 class="crosshead" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 117, 154); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #717171; font-size: 1.1em; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Childhood trauma</h3><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">That sentiment is echoed by <a href="http://www.tufts.edu/sackler/microbiology/faculty/coffin/index.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="ns">John Coffin</a>, a virologist at Tufts University in Boston. "This looks like a very, very interesting start," he says. "It's not impossible that this could cause a disease with neurological and immunological consequences, but we don't know for sure."<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Wessely points out, however, that XMRV fails to account for the wide variety of other factors associated with the CFS, including childhood trauma and other infections such as viral meningitis. "Any model that is going to be satisfactory has to explain everything, not just little bits," he says.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">If XMRV does turn out to contribute to CFS, this could point to new treatments. In the UK, patients are prescribed exercise and cognitive therapy, which seems to work for some patients, but not for most. Such failings underscore the need for therapies that go after the root cause of chronic fatigue syndrome – whatever it turns out to be.<br />
</div><div class="infuse" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Journal reference: <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1126/science.1179052" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #00759a; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="ns"><i style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Science</i>, DOI: 10.1126/science.1179052</a><br />
</div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8703932808294869884.post-3756566843119481082009-09-18T12:06:00.000-07:002009-09-18T13:15:40.988-07:0030 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">30 Things About My <a href="http://invisibleillnessweek.com/?p=2301">Invisible Illnes</a><a href="http://invisibleillnessweek.com/?p=2301">s </a>You May Not Know (http://invisibleillnessweek.com)</span><br /> <br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">1. The illness I live with is: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) & Fibromyalgia</span> (FM)<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2002</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">3. But I had symptoms since: 2001</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I can no longer do the things I love - dancing, swimming, running, anything that requires energy</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">5. Most people assume: It's all in my head</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">6. The hardest part about mornings are: Never feeling well rested or refreshed</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">7. My favorite medical TV show is: Gray's Anatomy </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My laptop. It's my link to the outside world. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">9. The hardest part about nights are: Lying awake for hours...not being able to sleep because of the pain.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins: 11 (which is less than most people with CFS/FM)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried homeopathy, naturopathy, acupuncture, pranic healing, yunani - none of these have worked. I have found that yoga helps if ptacticed regularly.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Visible. At least people would be able to see that I'm not making it all up.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">13. Regarding working and career: Had to give up in 2002 because of my illness.</span> <br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">14. People would be surprised to know: I have been exhausted for 7 yrs. And in pain almost all the time. I try not to make a big deal about it, but it is a huge deal to me.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: That I (or anyone else) don't understand my illness. I don't know whether a cause or cure will ever be found for it.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: get my yoga teaching certificate</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">17. The commercials about my illness: Have just started. I'm glad people are beginning to recognize fibromyalgia as an illness.</span> Unfortunately still nothing about CFS.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Running. Dancing. Working. Studying. Being self-reliant. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">19. It was really hard to have to give up: my life as it was</span>.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Gardening (well, I just started 2 days ago)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go sky diving followed by dancing all night.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">22. My illness has taught me: the importance of being healthy.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Snap out of it (well, duh, thanks...that never occurred to me for 7 years). If you can't say anything helpful, pls don't say anything.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">24. But I love it when people: people help me in the most unexpected ways.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: </span>"This body is perishable, consciousness is of a nature to dissolve, and all objects of clinging are impermanent, suffering and subject to change." The body is only a temporary vehicle. It is my soul that will continue. And my soul is only a part of the Universal consciousness. So why despair for the body?<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Learn to listen to your body. Rest before you get tired. Don't compare yourself - not to anyone else and not to yourself before you got ill.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: Millions of dollars (& pounds) are being spent on researching CFS, over 1 million Americans suffer from it, yet we are nowhere close to discovering what it is or to finding a cure.<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want people to recognise that an invisible illness can be as debilitating as a visible one.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Happy, that you cared enough to read it.<br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-count="horizontal" data-via="FatiguedButFab">Tweet</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></div>Ms.F.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17793262399677752408noreply@blogger.com7