Saturday, January 31, 2009
My name is Sahiba & I am a Facebookaholic.
There. You now know my shameful secret. But I feel so much better now that it's finally out in the open. Just don't judge me.
Like most addictions, it started innocuously enough. A few minutes here, half an hour there. Just to keep in touch with friends...for old time's sake.
And then I discovered Scrabulous (now Lexulous). And that was the beginning of the end. When Scrabulous was shut down by Hasbro for copyright infringement, I was heartbroken. And I'm not to proud to admit it - I cried.
But all was not lost. From the ashes of Scrabulous there emerged, like some fabulous Phoenix, Wordscraper. And then came Lexulous. In the meanwhile I discovered other word games like Text Twirl & Word Challenge; brain games such as Sudoku and Paradigm; and strategy games including Conquest (online version of classic board game Risk). All this and more - and all on Facebook.
I was hooked.
I couldn't watch TV, talk on the phone or have a normal conversation anymore. My fingers were constantly typing away, my mind thinking of the next word/move/strategy. My eyes got that haunted look. Everybody started to notice.
My husband begged me to step away from the computer. But I didn't want to. After all, I could stop anytime I wanted to, right? I just didn't want to yet. Yeah, right!
But now I admit it. I can't stop. I need help!
In a way, though, I understand what led me to this addiction. With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, there's very little one can do. I'm no longer studying. I can't work. I don't want to watch Soaps & Sitcoms all day. Sometimes I wonder if my brain will simply shrivel away and die due to neglect.
When I started playing Scrabble etc online, it felt like a lifeline.
Science suggests that simple brain excercises and word games can actually sharpen the mind and improve memory. This is what I focussed on.
However, what I failed to admit was that spending so much time on the computer was really wearing me out. All of us who have had any experience with CFS know that overdoing anything (or even doing what is a "normal" amount for most people) is likely to exhaust us.
So while I was probably working out my mind, I was making myself sicker and sicker.
And that is why I need to go to Facebook rehab. And this is why I am trying to find things other that FB that I can do even when I'm not well - like blogging.
The only problem is, the way I'm going, I may soon end up looking for blog rehab!